Danielle Cote

I often think about the woman you’d be today. I wonder where you’d be and what you’d be doing now. I am sitting here trying to picture what you’d be like at 31 and everything you would have done over the past 13 years.

I’ve watched your friends follow their dreams – move to different cities, accept great jobs, meet the love of their life, start families, experience loss… through all of life’s changes I can’t help but insert you into each of their journeys – trying to envision what role you would have.

I find myself getting lost in my thoughts when I think about how our journey into adulthood together had just begun. The more time that passes, the bigger the void seems to get.

I dream about what it would be like to have you here through the laughter and tears, the joy and the pain.

Braylon has started asking about you more frequently – wanting to learn all about you, while also regretful that he never met you. Sometimes, it’s so out of the blue and catches me off guard. Some conversations bring to me to tears, others I’m laughing so hard I’m almost crying. Emeryn is starting to remind me more and more of you – and that is the most beautiful and terrifying thing all rolled into one. Both kiddos seem to possess some of your most wonderful qualities, which is such a blessing and privilege.

Most of all, selfishly, I wish you were here to be my best friend. Through your physical absence, I’m filled with hope and an instilled belief that there’s something bigger than our Earthly existence.

And as we continue to navigate another trip around the sun without you here… let this be my reminder and promise to you, that I live a life that would make you proud and find ways to weave you, and how you approached life, into all that I do.

Love Always,

Your Big Sis