Danielle Cote

Text on an Instagram reel on January 3rd:

Somehow grief continues to hit you when you least expect it.

And while time and time again you try to convince yourself it gets better with time, more times than not, it’s in fact the opposite.

Because the more time that passes, the more moments you have, both big and small, that your person isn’t here for.

Caption on the reel:

It’s the song that comes on that has you fighting back tears.

It’s the complete stranger who reminds you of them – whether it’s their smile, their laugh or their energy.

It’s knowing that holidays, birthdays and all of life’s milestones will be hard, but that you’ll find yourself missing the little moments just as much.

The little moments … the texts throughout the day, the random calls, the chance to share a funny story or complain about something stupid.. the moments where you’re just… living.

Knowing that you can’t let your fear of losing someone paralyze you from getting close to them… as there’s always the possibility they can get taken away far before you’d ever imagine.

It’s learning to not always have to be going on and going and going… because you’re so afraid to miss the opportunity to make memories and spend time with those you love.

It’s the constant guilt you feel for not seeing friends and family members “enough” because you’re in a chapter that has you pulled in so many different directions… and somehow another day has come and gone.

Knowing you can be incredibly grateful and terribly heartbroken all at the same time.

And probably most importantly, it’s the appreciation you feel for those you have in your life that let you be you and love you through all of the chaos and muchness.

“You used to be much more…muchier. you’ve lost your muchness.” – Mad Hatter, Alice in Wonderland

Don’t lose yourself… and never lose your muchness.